Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Goodbye First Term, HELLO Winter Break!!

I am finally finished exams for first semester and it feels really great! And a little sad.

I know... I'm a nerd what can I say? I had a really great term, and I managed to survive hell month and maintain a B- average, even on the silly classes.  I think that deserves a pat on the back. *pats self on back*
Wow am I ever tired!  I was at school for about 7 hours, 5 of which were spent studying fiercely, and two of which spent writing with furious insanity. Gotta love hand cramps! At least I survived.  we'll see how my grades work out in the end though.

I discovered something about myself tonight that really made me happy... I actually know what I'm doing!  I'm not a screw up anymore!  It's crazy but In my insanity, I think I've actually done something right this semester.  I knew it!!!  I'm super proud of myself for actually pulling the grades I'm meant to get.  Doing work really does pay off :P *jokes* I'm just thrilled that I did the right thing this term, and that switching programs 3 years back was really the best decision I could have ever made. I just hope I can keep this outlook on life for next semester.  Unfortunately I'm overloading one course which means I'll not only have 2 seminars BUT i'll also be dealing with 4 2nd and 3rd level classes.  And that means 4 final exams next Spring.  Ugh!  Forget about it, for now lets celebrate the success of this term! Cheers!

I`ve got tons of sewing to get working on ASAP! I`m hoping  to have a quarter of it done by this upcoming Monday... It's already Dec 14th.. oh my gosh! I've got to get working.. too bad Santa's elves are busy, I could use the extra hands.  *sigh* Just need to button up my cardigan and get a sewing!

I'd also long to get some writing done during the break... and maybe get a head start on the readings for next semester.... I don't get it, this year Christmas is on a weekend, final exams don't finish until the 21st but we still return to school January 4th! It's outrageous! Thats so not enough time!!  Oh well...
There's just no rest for the wicked I suppose.  

Daddy and I are going to pick out our family Christmas tree tomorrow.. yay! and hopefully it will be decorated by the end of week *fingers crossed*

Gonna get some much needed sleep now... Why is Sleep the only thing you can't catch up on?  I don'[t know whats harder really, catching up on sleep or making the money tree grow... hmm


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

End of November Already? 0_0

I managed to surive Hell Month somehow but I'm still not finished.  Though i've entered the final stretch of my ridiculous essay word count goal i'm still 2500 words away from the finish line :(

I managed to get an extension from my prof and did not have to turn in an unfinished, unedited piece of literary garbage.. yay!  But now i've still got to get this paper done between now and Sunday- which if you know me, you know how much my weekends are write offs. *sigh*

Gonna push myself to do at least a page and a half single spaced today, if not more.. 2500 words is approximately 7 pages double spaced, which when single spaced equals to only about 3 pages and some leftovers.. I love typing in single space, its much more gratifying to double space your work and have it hit 7 pages rather than trying to write 7 spaces straight through.  Perhaps I'm just insane and it's my subconscious brain trying to pacify my stress..  Either way it works, I can (as they say) "get'er done"

Speaking of "get'er done".. Is anyone else happy about today being the last day of November? or is it just me?  I can't wait to see the clean shaven men around campus again!  If I have to see one more cheesy 70's caterpillar, hitler stash, dirty sanchez, captain hook, handlebar or teenage mustache I will bring clippers to school.. honestly, i'm surprised none of the women have gone "Sweeney Todd" on their men yet! Thank you for the support of men's cancers but that furry thing has to go!  Only Johnny Depp and Hulk Hogan look good in a mustache okay?

ooo Randomness! I ran into my old choir conductor yesterday.. third time this month! Back in October we met in the hallway and he had asked me if I wanted to join the women's ensemble he was conducting, starting January and I said yes. Yesterday he came round again while i was in the Aristotle's Republic headquarters (yes I know it was Plato's republic, you had to be there) and we picked a day for me to sing for him... he wants to place me properly which is great since he hasn't heard me sing since I was probably 12 years old.  Fingers crossed!  I'm hoping to sing a nostalgic piece from my childhood days in the CCCC that I'm certain will bring back fond memories for him and I really hope I can sell it to the back of the house- if u will.

Enough of that now, i've got to write my head off.  Drop me a comment or e-mail me if you're still reading me.. i know i've abandoned my blog for a while, but i feel more alone in the giant internet sea than ever before!


p.s if you're wondering what happened with my NaNoWriMo story this November... well, it didn't.  I made 1000 words and then face the hardest month of reading and writing academically that I have ever faced. here's hoping for next year!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

A little story called "hell month"

One evening I was walking in Toronto and I came across the Bloor street Viaduct... I gazed out across the Prince Edward Bridge and felt a cool chill run up my spine.  The moon shone high and three nuns passed near me dressed in The Color Purple and singing a song.. not about Paradise but from what I could gather, about a man who was wearing fur walking down a concrete sidewalk.  I stopped one of the Sisters and asked for her name.  She said it was Alice.  I introduced myself as Toni and inquired about the song they sang.  She told me that it was by a woman named Harriet... Harriet Jacobs who lived in the 1850's.   She then proceeded to recount a tale to me.  One of a woman- named Linda, who once encountered a man In The Skin of a Lion during her Incidents In the Life of a Slave Girl who had struck her quite a Funny Boy.  When she had finished her story, the nun- Alice, turned and walked away striking up the tune once more with her sisters whom she had introduced to me as Celie and Ruby.  As they walked away I couldn't help but notice that a stray advertisement had adhered itself to one of the nuns habits.  It was for a female parental figure for a motherless child and at the bottom said "call Morrison" listing a number.  As I turned smiling to myself I saw a young man, Ondaatje was his name and writing was his game.  He stood beside a huge Iron cooking pot speaking to a book by A. Walker, threatening to throw it into the pot unless it revealed itself for what it was.. a Book.  Before I could do anything to stop the insane torture of literature, a man sporting an azure silk scarf and a flamboyant green briefcase initials in Pink reading S.Selvadurai walked up and snatched the book out of the man's hands frowning a little.  I giggled a bit to myself and then realized I would be late to give my lecture and so I rushed on ahead and entered the building on the corner just as Jim was discussing Etienne's last letter, Z. 

If you were wondering why this story makes no sense.. well dear reader it is because my brain currently and my everyday state of living also make no sense.  To the  untrained eye this little paragraph would seem little more than a blurb from a silly short story but to the critically analytic literature buff it would be a clever and almost juvenile mash-up of the names and titles of 5 authors and 5 of their respective works: Alive Walker's The Color Purple, Michael Ondaatje's In the Skin of a Lion, Shyam Selvadurai's Funny Boy, Toni Morrison's Paradise and James Kinds Etienne's Alphabet.  Now how's that for Randomness!

This paragraph was also a way for me to spend 5 minutes in creative abandon away from the stuffiness of formal academic writing that I am currently up to my garters in :(

The end of the month'e essay line up looks like this:
Monday: seminar 4CF3 contemporary lit- final paper on Funny Boy (2500 words) and final seminar pres. on In the Skin of a Lion (1500 words)
Tuesday: seminar 4AA3 african american womens lit- final paper on Color Purple & Paradise (2500 words)
Thursday: 2M03 modern concepts of culture- final essay on TBA (1500 words)
Tues November 29th: 3Q03 history of critical theory final essay on TBA (1500-2000 words)
Random small assignments between Novel 27-30: 2m03 final tutorial discussion question (200 words), 2K06 term 1 sum up response, 4aa3 seminar sum up reponse. (1000 total)

Total Wordcount between Nov 20 and Nov 30th-   10 700 words!






Friday, November 11, 2011

11 11 11

Another year.. and We Remember.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow                                                      
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
-John McCrae-

 We Give Thanks to our Veterans, To all of those who served our Canada so faithfully.  Thank you for our Freedom!  Thank you for our Country!  God Bless all of our soldiers; past, present and future.  Let them rest in peace, bring them home safe and let there be no war for them to fight in anymore.

Check my tribute video to John McCrae's poem on youtube!!


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Guess who Got an A on Their First Seminar Presentation!!??!!


Thats right ladies and gents, you heard it here first, I Cristina Bilich got an A, well A- but still an A! on my seminar presentation arguing Shyam Selvadurai's "Funny Boy" as a novel about Parenting! WOOO!  Do you wanna know what I presented to the class?  Here i'll attach it below.  Please don't judge me or if you must please e-mail.. my professor already told me the issues with it- it was mostly that I overloaded my beginning part but it's okay..  So here you go!

I'm presenting “Funny Boy” as a novel about parenting discussing how parents and children in turn are affected by issues surrounding gender and sexuality, race and identity.  I'm also looking at the behaviour of parents towards children in terms of affection and discipline and how this affects the raising of children. In dealing with issues of masculinity between father and son, and the discussion around "good mothering" I intend to provide how the dynamic between parents is effective on how children should be and are raised.
From the start of the novel we see that the family dynamic highly affects the “parenting” of children.  In the first chapter, we learn about “spend-the-days” which involve the extended family children being brought to the grandparent’s house once a week.   This day allows time to be spent between older and younger generations, and the continued establishment of the family dynamics of discipline, obedience, and togetherness.
During these days the children play with their cousins games which vary by gender with exceptions.  The most important being Arjie who (as has been discussed) desires simply to play “Bride-Bride” with the girls.  This becomes a problem for his parent when he is “outed” one Sunday.  Everyone is unaware of what Arjie plays with the girls and his parents are shocked and horrified when he is dragged into the sitting room wearing a white sari and adorned as a bride.  One of the uncle’s comments on the situation to negates a silent response from “Chelva”(his father) who issues a disapproving glare to his mother, Nalini, to remove Arjie from the room.  In the argument later Nalini is chastised by her husband, who accuses her of not keeping an “eye on him” (14) and bringing up this “funniness” within him by permitting him to watch as she put on her makeup.  It is Chelva’s biggest fear that his son will turn out “funny” and he expresses it to his wife on many accounts not allowing any room for acceptance but only hoping to have him move past this “phase” quickly.  Arjie is reprimanded by his parents and is no longer permitted to enter his mother’s room thus distancing them forever (16). 
This distancing is furthered when Nalini forbids Arjie from playing with the girl cousins and orders him to be with the boy cousins on that next “Spend the day”.  She does not relent and nor offers any logical explanation for these orders beyond saying to herself (on page 18) “if the child turns out wrong, it’s the mother they always blame, never the father”.  This statement alone shows just how much pressure is placed on the mother to raise her children according to certain set “ideals” and “norms” which will enable them to conform to the rest of mainstream society.  When pressed she cannot offer up any reasonable explanation to Arjie beyond “you can’t, that’s why” and “you’re a big boy now and big boys must play with other boys” (20).  Already, the fear of an “othered” sexuality is shown by parents who are unaware and unable to give the care needed to their children when faced with gender and sexuality identities that are viewed as “abnormal”.  The only option for children is obedience or punishment.  Nalini faces the challenge of being torn between her husband’s demands and her children’s needs.
Arjie’s grandmother- Ammachi, who plays a part in his rearing, establishes that to get him past his “funniness”, she’ll put him to manual labour which will teach him to be more masculine threatening punishment for jobs done poorly.  There is a partially existent grandfather in the story, but the grandmother plays the more dominant role because of her place in the maternal hierarchy of child rearing for the entire family.   This alludes to the existence of a matrilineal culture in this family and in Sri Lanka.  The men, the fathers and grandfathers play the roles of provider and protector but ultimately the family is held together by the strength and efforts of the women.  If the wife is a “good mother” then the father will have a “good family”, but if she is unable to perform her role, she is held accountable.
 Present is the idea of  “good mothering” which comes up quite a bit within the novel, and is a deciding factor not only with Nalini for Arjie but also between the grandmother and her youngest daughter.   Radha-Aunty returned from studies abroad to find a marriage proposal waiting and it is within the chapters with Radha where we see how race and issues surrounding racial purity and racial dominance play a role in one’s life and family.  Radha is pressed to accept the proposal of the “good man” from the “good family” regardless of her needs or desires.  Radha’s mother- Ammachi, even goes so far as to give punishment when she hears of the “illicit relations” going on between her daughter and a Sinhalese youth named Anil.  When faced with “defiance”, Ammachi slaps Radha and sends her away to Jaffna for a month hoping to end the goings on (76).  When confronted by a daughter, Ammachi seems quite unsure of her-self and says “I did what was correct” (77).  She believes that as long as she upholds traditions, she is a good mother.  She even goes to Anil’s family to accuse and promote her racist ideologies.
            Coincidentally, when Radha goes to apologize she is met with much the same adversity from his father who is highly offended and seeks to prove that his is a family of honour and his son “is not desperate for a bride” (66).  He expresses quite plainly that Ammachi’s sentiments are returned and on page 66 he says “High country Sinhalese we are.  Last thing we also want is for our son to marry a non-Sinhalese”.  It is here that we see how Radha and Anil are facing struggles between their happiness and their parents/families approvals.  Racial difference becomes the ultimate dividing factor in their relationship and it stems from their parents instillations of racism and family propriety.  The young pair discusses the idea of allowing themselves or their children to marry outside of their “race” but we see with Anil’s question of “would you marry a Sinhalese” and Radha’s uncertain answers that her family’s prejudice has affected even her forward thinking mind.  Her unfinished sentence on page 69 shows us that even she has come to terms with her family’s mode of thinking- there is no place for mixed marriages especially not in a time of ethnic rioting within Sri Lankan society.  Parents and family members have good reason in this instance to instil in the younger generations the call to “racial purity” for the sake of ensuring the safety of each member but in doing so individual identity is not permitted within the family and everyone becomes subject to a sense of “blind obedience”.  
To further the topic of “blind obedience” I will now examine the issue of masculinity which is represented within the novel.  Chelva (Arjie’s father) is constantly defending and promoting the strength of “stereotypical” masculinity in the males in his family.  The only way that Arjie’s father sees fit to combat his “funniness” is to send him to the school that his older brother attends where obedience is the law and punishment is next to attaining knowledge. Chelva hopes that this form of schooling will give Arjie a “male-based” education which will work in tandem with the parenting he receives at home.   It appears that beyond being “provider and protector” Chelva never moves to show Arjie any fatherly affection, give him advice or teach him about life.  He always leaves it up to someone else, like for example, the youth Jegan with whom he discusses this issue and states “I’m glad you’re taking interest in him/ Maybe you’ll help him outgrow this phase” (166).  It is because of this non-existent communication that Arjie cannot relate to his father, and is left with the fear of punishment for failure which instils in him the need for simply a “blind obedience”.  In the hopes that the stricter schooling will prevent any further flourishing of his sons “tendencies” Arjie is made to transfer to his brothers school which his father thinks will “force [him] to become a man” (210).  This need to ensure a boys conformity to the “ideal manhood” stems from a societal, cultural and familial “norm” where heterosexuality is the sole and dominant sexuality.  Basically, from a young age Arjie is not given any instruction other than to “be a man” and “deal with it”.

There are brief moments within the novel where parents let go of the animosity they harbour and play the role of nurturer like when Ammachi’s reaction to Radha returning hurt (89) and (page 108, 111 and 114) when Arjie is sick and his mother nurses him.  The instincts of mother as nurturer and caregiver automatically arise when children are in desperate need.  An issue which we see with this though, is when the needs of the children are only tended to because they appear convenient for fulfilling the needs to the parent.  On page 118, Arjie learns that he became an “unwitting accomplice” to his mother’s scheme with Daryl Uncle.  Arjie is constantly used as the “excuse” and that even when not directly involved, appears at the centre of every oppressive and unjust situation. Children often are old enough to understand the goings on of their parents but not often able to alter or affect the outcome. 
The parents in this novel aren't really the best examples for their children, they don't do the right things, they don't say or act in ways that will show their kids how to be in control of their lives.  This is a mjor issue and Selvadurai addresses it which shows that parenting is a universal issue, across languages and cultures, and these same issue can be found not only in the culture he describes- but also in ours. 

-Selvadurai, Shyam.  Funny Boy.  McClelland &Stewart Ltd. Toronto. 1997. Print-

I hope you enjoyed reading it, if you have any questions, comments or criticisms please direct them to me by e-mail okay.  Let's keep in constructive but you know I love to hear from you ! (


Monday, October 3, 2011

October Fest? More Like October Study-Your-Brains-Out!

I had my first seminar presentation today and let me tell you... It was actually pretty good! I was kinda worried that I would tank, just because I have no faith in myself but it was for one of my favorite profs so I had the courage to get 'er done and I did!  I am so happy that it wasn't just me though, thankfully there were 3 other people assigned to the same book, each with a varying topic- race, gender, homosexuality and me, parenting which incorporated all three of those previous topics so I went last and it was a great sum up.  I think the prof really liked it and I am anxiously awaiting my marks which should be arriving via e-mail sometime tonight or tomorrow morning.  I'm going to force myself not to check my e-mail every five minutes by doing work- I'll be watching Steven Lynch vids on youtube to help procrastinate though :P Jokes* so not.

Lucky for me it's one thing after another this week.  Tomorrow I have to hand in my second response paper for early morning African American Women Writers seminar, and on Wednesday I have the honor of presenting discussion questions to my class.. oh but its not that simple.. not only do I have to think of smart questions that make a require reading comparison to something going on now, but I have to write up a preamble to my question.  Ugh!  Stupid tutorial marks.  oh well, just gonna do it as decent as I can do I get some marks... seriously, my writing will speak for itself in my essays and in the midterm next week? holy heck! It's already almost midterm?  This Suuuuuuuucks! Before you know it I'll be hunkering down writing seminar essays and prepping for bloody Dec exams.. Wow!

S.  O   .S!!!!

Naw i'll be fine, just gotta get to it.. speaking of which, I've got some books to read and some thinking and writing to do so I'll catch ya'll on the flip-flop


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sitting in the Library..

I'm working on my tutorial presentation and response paper for "Women Writers" which are due tomorrow and I can't help wanting to keep you posted about our topics of discussion in the class. We are reading texts from an Anthology and the way these women write is incredible!  There is always so much strength, passion, feeling and emotion in their words it's hard to stop reading.

Take for example the writer Mary Rowlandson who had to lose children and herself to captivity by natives back in the US of the 1600's.  Her trauma and grief are provided an outlet in her writing.  She has to endure the death of one child, her youngest and can only survive it through her Puritan belief  in God and the Greater Good.  Her tale is the common one of "motherhood lost" which is continually occurring in society even now.  She provides a great example for mothers who have lost children to wars or other social injustices such as abortion or slave labour.  One must endure for the sake of her children and keep the flame of hope alive for the futurity of the generations to come. 

Think about it.. What would the world do without mothers?


Monday, September 26, 2011

Where the Heck Did September Go!?!?!

Wow.  Its already the last week of September. And as you can see, I have yet to increase my posting. Oh well, we'll get there some how. 

I have a TON of reading to do and so many assignments coming up, due dates looming over my head and much preparation to be done.

SO are you doing anything fun this week?

I need to stop procrastinating but I figured I'd at least give you a taste of my week to come.

So for Tuesday I have to finish reading Plato's Republic for night class and find out when the essay for that class is due.. can't find it anyone where on the syllabus or on Dr. C's website... gah. oh well

Wednesday bring a quiz in tutorial -Ugh! hate second year classes.. honestly? I think if your in upper years taking level 2 classes then you should be exempt from tutorial.  Seriously, these TA's make Seminar's look like a joke. Almost.  ALSO I have to go to our city's Cathedral for rehearsal.. my cousin, along with two friends and myself are all performing a liturgical dance at a very special mass this upcoming Sunday... we are finally going to be able to practice in the right church. let's hope it goes well. *fingers crossed*

Thursday is going to be a real blast.. Not!  I have a 2 page response paper due, which is fine considering the TA made us go around the room on the spot last week and tell us about our ideas for response.  SO I'm happy because now I just have to write it up.  Now we also signed up for tutorial presentations and since my name wasn't on the TA's initial list she just added me to the bottom and than picked a day for me to present. And as is my luck, I got September 29th.. the same day the response paper is due.  Which also means I am the first presentation.  Yay.  It's only 2-3 minutes and kinda just discussing the weekly reading, making a connection of sorts.. and at least the stars were on my side because the weeks reading is a poem!  Woo! 

So for the time being i am at a comfortable work load level but I have so much reading to do to catch up and get ahead it's going to have me bogged down for a while. Just hope I can get my stuff together before October really starts because then it's non stop one assignment, midterm or presentation after another.. and this ain't your ordinary 2% worth tutorial stuff either.. we're talking the full monty presentations of seminars worth 40% each.. *runs screaming around the room arms flailing*.

Wish me Luck. i'm gonna need it


Friday, September 16, 2011

First Week Done...Countless More to Go

I cannot believe that school has already been going on one whole week!  I will never cease to be astonished by time and how quickly it can pass while one is otherwise occupied. 

I have yet to achieve my goal level of work but tomorrow I am fortunate enough not to have classes scheduled and therefore I intend to catch up on as much (if not all) of my work so I will be on schedule for Monday.  Already I have tasks to complete, assignments to hand in, presentations and seminars to prepare for.  I am terrified!  Am I really cut out for this? Honestly, my mind has been hosting nothing but Doubt for the last 5 days.. It's terrifying and I hate it!  This year will really make or break me and I fear the latter.  I just have to keep "trying" to be strong I suppose.  A good friend of mine told me that "trying" isn't good enough.. that it is now All or Nothing.. and that I have to Do it because there is no other option but to.  Fair enough advice right? *sigh*

Anyway.. going to bed so I can get rest and work diligently tomorrow..



Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Gotta Love Procrastination..

Today I went to school for seminar number two and then sat around on the longest break of life... from 11:30am until 7pm when i had night class which lasted half an hour and as usual managed to intimidate the heck out of me.  If you knew my prof you'd know why.  Dr. Clark is a pretty crazy smart guy but dang his classes are tough!  Day 1 and we've already gotta start reading like mad.. and of course the class is the history of critical theory so of course we're starting off by reading Plato's Republic of course he would do that us! *sigh*  Gonna be an even tougher semester now.  Im kinda terrified not gonna lie.

I spent the better part of my big break today doing kind of nothing lol.. I brought the laptop with me and listened to music on 'grooveshark' for 6 hours.  In fact I spent much of my time finding and adding new music to my new "chill out" list.. got about 120 sounds from artists like Bjork!, Muse, Linkin Park, Tool, Perfect Circle, Marilyn Manson..etc.  SO yeah  that wasted a good couple of hours.  I also chatted on msn with people i'd met in Spain lol which was totally awesome and I love technology!  I did do some school stuff also though, I watched he videos on youtube my prof had requested we see and listened to a TED talk by Chamamanda Adichie on "the danger of a single story".. super cool a'll should check her out and check out TED talks if you don't know what they are.. good stuff.   I also listened to Toni Morrison's Nobel prize speech- well half of it.. before i got interrupted by a good friend who not only provided some much needed comical relief but also some positive energy for me to get working again.  We read for about 3 hours side by side today and then went to night class together.. Thank God i'm not alone to suffer!

Seminar 2 sounds good.. It's at 9:30am until 11:20 and is run by the same prof as another course and seems like its going to be good fun and great reads.  And minimal work in comparison to other courses of lesser weight... going to be interesting.

So here's my course list, for those of you who might be interested in the hell i'm going to be experiencing between now and December:

 4th level Seminars:
 -Cultural studies critical theory 4CF3 "contemporary fiction" with my favorite prof of all time, Dr James King.. he's adorable! he is self promoting his mad writing skills by putting one of his fiction novels on the reading list.. hehe awww!! soo cute!
- English 4AA3 "African-American Women Writers" with Dr. O'Conner who is super cool for an older lady lol naw i like her already.. she seems like a good lecturer so im sure she'll be a great seminar leader.

The Rest of It:
- CSCT 2K06 "women writers"- dr O'Conner again... nice to get to see her in two semi-related variably different settings... she's all about journals and response assignments though so i have to do them for this class and her seminar as well... oh well.  there's also the joys of tutorial to contend with. hmm
-CSCT 2M03 "concepts of culture" with Dr. Sarah Brophy who is soo adorable too!  Gonna be a "funsie" course i think.. probably easy.  It has tutorial as well.
-CSCT 3Q03 "the history of cultural studies" with Dr David Clark ( who i had last year for Gender and Sexuality..) and im slightly intimidated especially since he said he remembers me doing well in his last class.. great. A lot of heavy and hard reading to do.. should i have expected any less? nope.

So thats it this semester... tons of reading, tons of speaking, assignments big and small, only three exams tho thank God... but big big big essays in seminar.. eep!  Don't know if I'll be able to make it through this one, going to have to work my butt off like never before.. just gotta stay positive! I think I can.. I think I can.. do I? Yes!

So onward to Wednesday.. only one class tomorrow at 11:30 so i can sleep in and thanks to tutorials not starting until Thursday, i'm done at 12:20 tomorrow :)


Monday, September 12, 2011

September Already... and I wish it was May.

Wow how the summer flew.  I know I have yet to finish posting about my summer.. I assure you there is a post sitting there waiting to be edited and had pictures added to it.  It should be posted by the end of the week.  I'm going to try to keep up my daily posts but it might turn into weekly posting since this year I've got 4th level Seminars to worry about getting A's in and I'm overloading a class next term.. EEP! SOS!!! 

So School started up again last Thursday.  I lucked out and don't have class Fridays all term 1- Woo! Hopefully I won't procrastinate and I will actually use that class free day to keep ahead of my work- even though right now it looks like i'll be playing catch-up all week til then.  *sigh* oh well.

I've been to 3 out of 5 classes, including in those 3 one of 2 4th level seminars!! Woo! Love Dr King.. anywho, tomorrow morning I've got seminar 2 of 2 for the term and I'm super excited to see what it's going to be like.  I'm taking mostly (as in 85%) cultural studies classes this year to finish off my combined honours degree which is excellent except for the fact that they are mostly 2nd year classes which are rather large (80-130 students) and entail 2 hours of lecture plus an hour of tutorial which is mandatory and has assignments.. ugh! Like I won't have enough going on with Seminars? Seriously what am I thinking? Gonna be fun, I can tell already. . .

My profs so far are pretty cool, and the one TA I met seems super awesome (She's from Winnipeg in the Manitoba area of this grand country, (Dr&Mrs Smarty-Pants+The Fins- and she knows people who went to Prov!!).  So i'm hoping it's not going to be too much of a train wreck semester but here's hoping!

I'll give you a full course list after I've had my remaining two classes tomorrow and can look at my concise syllabi (sp?) and tell you all the fun stuff I'll be learning and reading.

I can't wait to be finished.  This year just started and I really want it to be ending.. although then lies the impending doom of "big girl world" which sort of terrifies me- just as much,if not more than- my final year of university life.  Don't know how I'm going to get through it but I can't stop fighting now, we're soo close! (must be something in this bag to calm my gitters...eek!).  Well I guess all I can do is tighten my seat belt, pull up my boot straps and secure my baggage as I speed on forward... it looks like we're launching into yet another year folks and it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

More to follow.  Comment if your reading.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

It's August Already???

 On July 19th I got told that the following morning my sisters and I had to get up very early.  We got surprised by our parents and older sister and bro-in-law with airplane tickets from Buffalo to Orlando... We were floored! We were going to meet our sister, husband and niece to stay or 8 nights, 9 days in Disney World!!!  You can just imagine our excitement, no? I'm not half the Disney Freak my family is but oh my gosh I was soo stoked.  My entire family and I had been to Disney World once before, but I have very little to no recollection of this trip as I had yet to reach the age of 4.  So there we were, July 20th, 8am and loading up the van with roughly packed suitcases and one backpack (into which all our ''necessities'' were thrown).  It took just over an hour to get to Niagara and crossing the border into the US wasn't terrible.  We arrived at the Buffalo airport with a few hours before our flight, so we checked our baggage, grabbed some grub and settled in for the seemingly endless wait.

The first thing I was told on the momentous day of the 19th while packing was "your cell phone stays home... you're going to try a technology free experiment.  So there will be no accessing the internet or communicating with anyone."  Great.   After I got over that shock, I also realised I wouldn't be able to blog at all during the trip.. so I rushed out to he nearest paper goods store and got myself a lovely note book. (pictures to come)

Yep, I was back to using the tried and true paper and pen method of journal writing.  Which come to think of it, didn't actually work out as terrible as I had somewhat anticipated. I found it kind of nice being able to just flip the book open and start writing.. no internet loading time, no fear of having things erase or reset.. I think I'm going to try writing my next epic in a notebook.  I even got all into writing in journal entry form starting with the date and signing off at the end. I have decided to set a goal for myself  before I have to leave for WYD Madrid (in 6 days..AHH!!) and that goal is to transcribe everything I wrote down in my travel journal onto my blog.  SO starting from this post onward, I will be attaching my submissions to my blog posts :D

SO lets go back in time, back to the far away days that were my July Vacation, out of reality and into the past!

                                                  . . . Enroute To Orlando. . .
 The plane left on time and we boarded easily but it was not assigned seating.  My sisters and I sat together and one in the seats adjacent to us.  Take off went well, forgot to put in the "earplanes" but it was all good.  Occasional popping but no pressure from the SARPE so i'm happy.  The lack of assigned seating is a bit lame but at least we are all near each other. There are a lot of young families with children- most seem to be heading to Disney World like us!   We are all so stoked to get there but excited just as much to see our sister, bro-in-law and niece.  Mickey and Minnie are a bonus. 

While we were in the airport, we went to the restroom 3 times and each one was different in size... weird I know..clean floors though and nice no-touch sinks and paper towel dispensers and blow dryers.  I know what you must be thinking. how long is she going to be talking about air port washrooms?  Well, I assure you, not too much longer.  I just want to comment on the fact that the toilet paper i n the stalls was thin enough to see my hand through, which means you have to use a lot  more to feel clean enough.. I know- Too Much Info.

So it's 1:45 pm and we've been flying for just shy of an hour now.. about another hour and a bit to go.. (in British accent) I'm SO Excited! Took some gravol before we boarded and it seems to be holding because even though the rides a little bumpy i'm feeling sick.  I was a tad bit on the panicky side  before and during take off but I've gotten over it *high five for conquering fears!* There's a fifteen year old girl named Colleen sitting beside my sister who is making bracelets out of thread.  Her pattern is crazy.  She's talkative but very nice and polite, she's flying on her own.  I'm glad she's with us in the row because it's helping her not be so nervous... and us too!  It's nice to know that American teens are still 'good' and friendly these days.  The A/C is on max and the plane is comfy considering how many people are in here (2 rows of 3 seats with approximately 25 roms in the whole plane- do the math 3X2X25...150?)

Anyway, we're doing well except for the constant cold air that's being blown on our heads.  We are flying above the clouds and it's completely surreal until you look out the window.  This is what it must feel like for birds I guess.. Ah! to be a bird...

Well that's all for now, gotta remember to put the "earplanes" in before descending.  Bit of turbulance but it's okay, i'm still writing and trying to remain calm.  Going to read some more from Laura Kate's novel "Torment" (book two of the Fallen series)- oh! am so excited to find that most of the signs and stuff in the airport is in English and Spanish!!!!!


Monday, July 18, 2011

Hottest Monday of Life!!!!

As I sit here typing I am literally dripping sweat! It's soo gross!  This fan overhead is scarcely relieving the heat in this room.  My house is becoming a puddle, even my piano is sweating... Eww. i know.. So nasty.  Gotta love this country we live in.. O Canada, where crazy weather snows, provinces flood and everything where else burns" .. no.. don't like my new rendition of  our national anthem? hehe

I spent a wonderful weekend out in the sun, going to the beach at P. D and misting it up at "the Falls"..  I guess we shouldn't complain too much.. we could be stuck in the middle of the Sahara desert with no water.. it could always be worse (thx MC).. or it could be 40 degree below zero with blizzarding snow.. I guess for 2 months it's easy enough to handle the heat.. and they say sweating is good for your skin.. right?

Right now i'm listening to this Christian musical group called Starfield and they are pretty awesome!!  I think you should check them out and listen to their stuff.. whether or not Christian contemporary worship music interests you at all *giggles* It is all reallly awesome!! Talk about rocking out with JC! God Bless guys!  I'm listening to their album I Will Go and I'm totally hooked on them!! Gonna go out and get me their other albums (i'm borrowing this one from one of my totally awesome "crazy" christian friends who intru'd me to this amazingly talented worship group ... XOXO)

Here's their wiki page so you can read all about them and their site+ youtube vids so give em a listen if you've got a few mins <3

Did you know that there is Christian rock, rap, alternative and scream-o?? No really, you should listen to the band called Skillet, they are also awesome!!!  So is the group HillSong.. Amazing vocal and musical talents working together to praise God, it's just Awesome!

Anyway I've got to go change shirts cuz my current one is soaked and I've gotta put my 'darks' into the washer cuz I'm now running out of clean shirts.. the heat won't last much longer.. right?

Stay Frosty my friends.. and please leave me your comments (with an initial or identifier) cuz so far lately the only one reading me is  allegedly Mr. O. Wilde and i'm pretty sure he's been dead a long time :P THX


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wednesday Again.. How The Week Just Flies By..

Can't believe its another Wednesday.. Insanity!!!! Here i've been spending each spare moment in the great outdoors with family when I ought to be posting... oh well.. better late than never, right?

I've been spending so much time chilling with my siblings and family members I can barely recall the last time I had a moment alone.. but its a good thing.. i think.. No for sure it is because I've been able to make some good food, have some fun trips and outings and plenty of interesting, exciting and fulfilling conversation :) So So far So Good!

I've been feeling a little down lately about having to leave some more people behind, especially this past few days but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.. If you know me, you know how time I devote to other people.. so if I need to take some "me" time, I think it's well warranted..  A smart person told me that other people can live without you for 5 minutes, but you can't live without yourself so get back in tune with you before you try giving yourself out again. Everything happens for a reason and you have to take the good with the bad. Sound advice for sure. It's hard to "smile that is happened" when your thinking about the fact that "your sad cuz its over" but things happen the way they are meant to.. Sometimes you just have to let the chips fall, know when you can hold em, know when to fold em and especially know when you have to walk away.

**to those of you still reading me.. I am so sorry for letting go but honestly, it's the only way either of us could move forward and be happy.. trust me.  So don't be angry ok?  Sometimes we get hit, but we have to keep moving forward <3XoX**

Glad to be back to sort of normal right now.. so exhausted from all the traveling i've been doing and all the family visiting to be had but it's well worth it because soon enough I will be traveling more and then it will be shortly the end of the summer and I'll be getting my lower braces bonded (August 30th!! Eeeep!) and then its off to school for my final year... oh.. my..gosh....*stares in frozen shocked terror at the screen holding breath*
*breathes again finally and flattens a pesky fly on the screen tossing it into the trash can*

I've been addicted to country music the last 24 hours and can't get some songs out of my head.. It's all good, everyone needs to go a little country sometimes right? Anyway, here's the lyrics to the song that I'm stuck on lately and i know they definitely make sense for my current (and past) life...

There's some things that I regret,
Some words i wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo, 
Some things,
I wish I could so all over again,
But it don't really matter;
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.
            ~Carrie Underwood: Lessons Learned~

Well, Im off to bed so I can get an early start in the morning, got some major sewing to do and some cleaning up left over i've been putting off, bed sheets to change and a computer room that's in dire need of straightening out..  What are you up to this week? comment or e-mail me what your Wednesday's gonna be about..


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

...Had a Good Day For a Wednesday..

Surprisingly my Wednesday this week went really well.  I had a good time with some people im just nuts over and got to nap and rest and just plain chill.

You know what a good movie is? One with Jack Black in it!! Watched the "Tenacious D- The Pick Of Destiny" today for the third time and I fall back into love with it :D Such epic music and come on, you gotta love Jabels and Kage.. such a dynamic duo! Thumbs up if you love Sasquatch! *RIP*R. J. Dio*- the rock world is missing a bright bright star!! " must face your inner demons, now go my son and ROCK!"

So what did you do today? nothing? anything?

i was told today that I should post more, and so i decided that im going to start fulfilling one of afore-posted to-do list entries and post as much as possible until i can post no further! Thanks to my inspirations out there!

Over the weekend I found out that one of my faithful comment giving people was a certain cousin of mine who chose to remain anonymous (VS! u know who u are!) and sadly is away at camp until the end of July.. so someone else better start up the comments or i'm going to be so so sad.. by the way, if you do comment please leave me something to recognize you by.. like an initial or nic-name or atleast be the "<3" person.. come on people.. stop being lazy and just comment.. remember also you can e-mail.. do I have to say it in every post? :P

I posted 5 more songs of youtube!!! So now there are 7, which im both nervous and excited about.. my cover of Zombie so far is the most viewed and the responses have been positive.  *high five to me* I decided to put up videos that boast my piano playing abilities and not so much my lame haircut of the past and my inconsistent pitch singing hehe.. i know I know.. use a capo blah blah blah.. note to self- steal a capo off my bro..  Anywho, I'm hoping you'll take a listen to my instrumental covers and give me some feedback either on youtube directly or on here or through e-mail..  let me know what you think, liked or didn't, etc. lets try to keep it positive and constructive though ok?

If you haven't found me yet just search BilichC on youtube for my vids/my channel.. now to leave you with a little something from my friend and yours, JB.. Enjoy!

Down where the sasquatch hide,
In the misty mountainside,
He's got shiny diamonds that he's got to protect,
Look into the sasquatch eye,
Did you know that sass could fly?
Sasquatch is my daddy and he's going to protect, me!
Half man, half machine,
On the cover of a magazine,
Bigfoot is my father and he's got to protect, me!
These lyrics don't make sense,
Think i've found the evidence,
That yeti is my papa and he wants to protect, me!
 -Tenacious D: Papagenu (he's my sassafrass)-


Monday, July 4, 2011


There are only two months left before I have to return to the joys of  full time student life, and I've realized there is still so much work left to do that I might not get it all done before my time runs out.  I've decided to compile this list to keep me on track for the remainder of my summer break.  

In No Particular Order...

- Finish writing at least one of the 4 novels I've started
- Post 5 more video's on YouTube (at least)
- Blog at least once a week before September  
- Read another "for fun" book series in it's totality
- Use my sewing machine again
- Clean up my computer room
- Organize my documents and picture files on the computer
- Learn how to play the zombie theme for C.O.D on the piano!
- Clean out under my bed... eeep!
- Play the Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog sheet music until I just can't do it anymore.
- Get my cell phone fixed and talk to someone about my bill..
- Finish sorting out my schedule for school this upcoming year
- Eat as normally as I can before End of August lower braces bonding.. eeeeeep!
- Read more work by Hawthorne
- Watch my Jane Austen movie collection in full
- Re-organize my book shelves and see what I can sell.
- Get my sleep pattern back on track...

hmmm so much to do.. and so little time to do it in..  ahh! just remembered that 2 weeks in August i'm going to be in Spain... well.. luckily July just began.. Gotta get Moving! Less blogging more working..

p.s I know my last post seemed a bit "emo" but rest worry free dearest blog followers, I was just going through a "moment" and im much better now.. I kind of felt like I'd hit rock bottom but now I've  begun moving in the only direction possible- UP!  Someone wise once told me, you are your own problem.. but as such, only You can be your solution.  Here's to a fresh start with no mistakes and a successfully satisfying remainder of the summer! <3

Saturday, July 2, 2011

On The Road Again..

It is my first post for July, and all I have to say is that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Weird I know. Thinking in the summer? you must be thinking "she's daft she is"! ..but anyway,

I've decided that it's time to set my feet back upon the road to self discovery and mental, spiritual and emotional growth.  I'm taking all the memories of people and places and things i've done with me, keeping the good close to me and leaving the bad behind.

The hardest and saddest part of all this was my decision to leave certain people behind too..  for reasons which i'm not at liberty to disclose I had to part with some friends, old and new so that in hopes that wiping clean the slate will help me better transition and allow me to travel unhindered and lightly down this path.  Sorry again to everyone that I've said GoodBye to.. Please don't hate me, I know in time you will all understand that it really wasn't you, but me (to be cliche).. and that I not only had to do it for me, but wanted to do it this way.  *sigh*

Not exactly an uplifting or informative, exciting or even partially entertaining post -not even 1/4 of my usual post size- I know, but If you knew what I've been through this past week you'd understand..

Anyway, I'm going to bed now and praying that my current battle with the demon insomnia is over with..


Friday, June 24, 2011

It's Friday.. Again..

and I'm home with my parents... cuz everybody's busy working but me *sigh*

Sat around playing guitar and recording some new videos to post on YT - use your imagination if you wanna find me *sticks out tongue*

To respond to one of my previous posts comments- Yes! I eat eggs with my teeth.. If it wasn't for scrambled eggs I'd be so low on protein and utterly lost for breakfast foods so yeah *sticks out tongue again, at anonymous poster*

Didn't realise I was popular until I had 26 unread e-mails sitting in my inbox.. guess thats what I get for not checking for two days.  Most of it was spam anyway *sad sigh* guess i'm not as popular as I thought.

Can't believe the week flies by so quickly when I don't post much... kind of sucks cuz now it's the weekend again and in another week June will be over and it will be July and I'll have but two months of summer vacation left before September school hell! 8runs around screaming flailing arms*

Anywho, Gonna go spend some "mommy" time before getting back to guitaring and video-editing and chatting and all that fun stuff I do when im home alone bored..

please comment and e-mail and a giant THANKS! to all of you who commented last time - would be nice if I knew who you were.. maybe you might consider putting an initial at the end of your comment or some kind of identifying tag so I have an inclination of who is reading me.. or hey how about this.. E-mail me when you comment! or With your comment!  *giggles*

Take care ya'll,

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

So Far This Week...

I've been in and out of the house randomly, going here and there all around the square (?).. Naw just wandering about this grand ol' steelcity that I call home.. So I took some pictures.. Hope you Enjoy them!!

Beautiful Monday Morning..

Making Scrambled Eggs for Breakfast!! Yum

"I walk these empty streets..."

Liked This Shot..
Tried to be Artistic and catch an empty bridge but no such luck.. not took a picture of two random dudes.. Still Pretty Epic Looking Bridge!!

Love. Love. Love this shot.. sitting in one of the city parks.. Sooo Nice! Love Trees!

Heading Downtown for a Bus..
St. Pauls United Church.. Such an epic looking old building in the heart of the city..

Artisitc angles!!! Downtown Bus Station.. Waiting..

The Only One On The Bus... Move On Empty Chariot Of The People!!

Finally Getting Back To the East End.. Almost Home
End of the Night.. Nerding it up in front of a latpop and my desktop screen chatting and tuning..
So there's a look into a random day in my life... I hope you likes it.. hopefully tomorrow nights post will be better *giggles* *sighs* maybe I need more time away from my computer.. maybe? or more time doing productive stuff? hmmmm.

Maybe should stop talking to self... hmmmm *strokes imaginary beard*

Please comment and e-mail... if you're out there.. anybody?


Saturday, June 18, 2011

Nobody Comments Anymore...*sigh*

Im so depressed... another night passes, another post, and still no one comments and nigh an e-mail to be seen.. it's kind of depressing writing for nobody... oh well *sigh* guess I'll just have to keep persevering until someone finally comments.. or reads my posts

Reducing myself to watching spiffworld's videos of Jonathan Coulton songs on YouTube... *sigh*


Friday, June 17, 2011

What a Night...

It's Finally Friday and i'm home eating pasta hanging out with my fav gal...  Decidedly agreed upon by all party's that living at home with your parents often can be.. well.. to put it bluntly.. It Sucks!

I forgot about eating today (hhehe) and my sister had yelled at me for it earlier, so at 9 o'clock this evening I decided to make some pasta, cover it with sour cream and go to town!  It's taking me forever to eat- as you all know- but it's still quite satisfying...  You should try it.. super eeasy recipe.. boil pasta and just add sour cream *giggles*

Anywho, gonna listen to some tunz, make a bit more of a rucous and get me rents a bit more cheezed off before bed time.. early morning... gah!


Who Cares About Thursdays?

I certainly don't.. going through Thursday makes it take longer before I get to Friday :(

Today I spent over $100.00 on a CHI hair straightener for one of my favourite gal cuzins- Lord knows I love her... I owed her a birthday gift and I promised a sweet one so that was it- two months later- oh well she was soo excitedly happy and pleased and couldn't stop smiling so much her face probably hurts now So it was well worth it... and I get dibs to use it whenever I want too .. so It's all good :)

Giving feels good...  I like to give to my family and friends and the odd stranger or street urchin *giggles* and it makes me happy when I can make others happy... DO you like to give? comment/e-mail me about it!!!

Just finished watching the bestest movie from my childhood ever... Anastasia!!  What made it even better was sitting outside in the backyard on the deck with some family members and watching it in the cooling night air..  It's soo muggy here tonight, at the least there was a nice chilly breeze.   The moon is supposed to be out and big and bright and beautiful but thanks to smog and over-cast we didn't see it.. oh well.. there will be other moons and other nights to see them.  Honestly, laptops/portable computers or dvd players are the greatest inventions ever for hot nights when you don't want to be stuck inside in a stuffy room with a squeaky fan and no A/C :D Thumbs up to the person who invented portable electronics!!!

I've finished going through my e-mails and usual nightly internet haunts.. nothing interesting tonight.. no one cool online to chat with..  Gonna call it a night I think..


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Time For Another Poem By The Always Wonderful W.B Yeats...

"To an Isle in the Water"

Shy one, shy one, 
Shy one of my heart,
She moves in the firelight
Pensively apart.

She carries in the dishes,
And lays them in a row.
To an isle in the water
With her would I go.

She carries the candles,
And lights the curtained room,
Shy in the doorway
And shy in the gloom;

And shy as a rabbit, 
Helpful and shy.
To an isle in the water
With her would I fly.
                            -William Butler Yeats- "Crossways"

*Sigh* isn't it just such a romantic poem?  I know what your thinking.. whats so romantic about a guy watching some girl clean up after dinner and go about her evening house work... but come on.. he watching her in her everyday and wishing to take her away with him to an Isle...where they can be happy and free...  Nothing like good poetry to make a person smile

Comment and e-mail k? SO lonely writing to myself all the time

Are you even reading?  Hello? HELLO???


Today I...

Took a shower at 8 am because I couldn't sleep any longer..

Ate my first whole piece of toast post-surgery!!

Played the piano for 3 hours straight..

Read more of The Monk and got bored..

Put away clean laundry and stuck dirty clothes in the washer..

Found out an author I know has a blog on blogspot (here)

Tabbed the notes for the melody to the song "All My Life" by KC and JoJo- you know the one right?

Got annoyed at technology...multiple times

Forgot what day of the week it is

Realised that a month passed me by really quickly.... too quickly actually

Played 6 hours of piano in total and made up a few new covers to old songs..

High-five'd myself for artistic intelligence and license and freedom

Ate 3 pieces of pizza (under-cooked) very slowly

Checked my e-mail address 8 times

Walked by a piece of paper lying discarded at the bottom of the stairs about 20 times before deciding to pick it up

Used eBuddy Web Messenger for the first time... stupid msn temporary failure :(

Subjected myself to stupid Youtube videos

Wasted countless time deciding what to do instead of just doing something.

Didn't know what I was going to post about until now..

Patted myself on the back for successfully keeping up with blogging this week... Go Me!

Decided to finally  DO Something...

Am going to bed before midnight.

Told my few readers/followers to comment/e-mail about what they/or I did today.. Thx readers!


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Gothic Literature Anyone?

Because of my obsession with Jane Austens novels (and the film adaptations) I decided I would get into some of the Gothic Literature that gets mentioned in Northanger Abbey.  An undertaking of mine has been to read The Monk and atleast something about Anne Radcliffe and her novels which are said to be truly terrifying!

I'm currently just past the first volume of The Monk and so far it's quite intriguing and I find myself unable to put it down before finishing the chapter i'm on..  

The story takes place in Spain and upon entering the first few chapters we are graced by the presence of the great Monk Ambrosio who has become somewhat of a renown preacher and is known to the people of Madrid as His Holiness as they worship him for his words with reverence.  Alas poor Ambrosio(- I knew him well) while having survive 30 years of life unsullied by sin or temptation finds himself only too close to succumbing to the powers of evil in the temptations of Rosario (A.K.A) Matilda...

Among hearing about the antics and goings on about the Monastery we also encounter 3 gentlemen and their lives/journeys into the world and society and their abilities in persuing certain favoured women...  The author really did a great job of flipping back and forth between scenes within and out of the Monastery and adding many side stories in depth to help the reader fully understand how a certain character came to be where he/she is now in the point of the story..each character has a chance to be the narrator for a chapter or so..  

Things haven't gotten to the "scary" part quite yet beyond the two poisonings that occur within the Monastery and the pillaging and murdering that happens out in society as we are following various gentlemen around..  For being written at the and of the 1700's it's quite a shock to find scenes and stories within the novel that involve rather PG and "racy" areas... one does not expect to find any mention of exposed body parts and their appearance in the light of the moon (etc) within 18th century literature and i'm sure it was frowned upon society at the time- though that might have all added to the books "terrific" nature... hmm.. 

Either way, I can only imagine these topics were able to pass under the radar because the story was considered "horrific" in its nature altogether anyway.. honestly who pays attention to the exposed breast of a maiden when there are gangs a-foot and murdering's a-happening..right?

I shall let you know what I feel as I move into the Volume II.. perhaps I shall come to the forbidden "scary" parts... 

By the way.. I realized that something is a-miss in Austen's Northanger Abbey and in it's film adaptations..  Catherine Morland is reading The Monk and fantasizing herself into the story as per usual and the scene she narrates is when Ambrosio gains the ability to go into Antonia's bedchamber and Catherine says the line of "I must have her or perish" or something of that sort.. well in the novel proper (The Monk) it is soo not Ambrosio who says it but rather Matilda/Rosario who says it of Ambrosio and her desire to be with him.. or so i've found so far.. perhaps the line gets repeated in another part of the book... or Austen just liked that line from the Monk and decided to have her "heroine" Catherine read it, and the same goes for the film adaptors.. cuz we all know Henry Tilney would so not be crass enough to walk into Catherine as she is bathing and tell her that all God's creatures are acceptable in the flesh.. yeah.. wouldn't happen, even in Cathy's fantasies.. sorry C, your not Antonia, and your beloved Mr. Tilney is just not Ambrosio enough..  I could very well be wrong in all this, please accept it as purely speculation drwan off of bad tired short term memory...
Okay, im done ranting and rambling..

As always, Thanks for reading and feel free to comment and/or e-mail me what your thinking


Monday, June 13, 2011

Smells Like Teen...Angst? Spirit? Crisis?...

Spent the better part of yesterday hanging out with my immediate/extended family for weekly Sunday "lunch" and  beyond eating over-cooked pasta (not by choice) the most interesting and fulfilling part of the whole day was catching up with one of my cousins..

I've forgotten what it's like to be a teenager, growing up in this current crazy advanced morally decrepit society.. Im only 21, what the heck!?!  Do things really change that much when you become an adult?

I suppose the mind does all it can to let go of the terrible, awkward, embarrassing, panic confused-filled moments one experiences as a teenager..  My cousins newly 17 and experiencing her first major substantial crushes which are no longer just making her nervous and blushing, but are spawning new feelings of the want and desire for meaningful friendships and emotional and romantic relationships.. I guess I forgot what it was like to be bitten by the love bug for the first time..  Now that I've gone through it I can laugh and say "its easy, don't worry, you can ask for that number no problem...rejection? nah! don't even worry about it.. no biggie"  but in the back of my mind there is a memory of that difficult moment standing face to face at a locker and staring down at your shoes mumbling " can i have your number?" *sigh* c'est la vie..

I looked at my cousins slightly nervous slightly confused face and told her "you have to live through things or else you don't know what life is and you'll never learn how to live the life you want, the life worth living... If you don't go out and look you'll never find anything.. if you don't search for who you are you'll never find yourself.. and if you don't know who you are, how can you let other people know You?"  Amazingly she understood me... We mistake the silly immature misbehaviour of teen-agers for stupidity and un-intelligence but this is not so..  it's true what they say about the wisdom of the ages..  Each age we live brings us more wisdom.. so at the age of 17, there is a substantial amount of wisdom... Thankfully! or else how would any of us survive/have survived the final year(s) of high school?

Anyway, I'm glad I have the experiences that I have and that I can share them with the next generation.. it's great to know that there are teens still willing to listen to the advice and experience of others and who aren't afraid to ask for opinions and assistance.. It's wonderful and amazing that cousin can talk to me and wants/needs to.. I'm happy that my having gone through certain experiences can contribute to her learning what not to do and how to avoid getting into difficult or "sticky" situations... *sigh*  I can't wait to be a mom because then i'll have way more experience and more wisdom (coming with my age) to share with my kids to help them grow and learn and come into the world themselves...

I know I shouldn't be soo emotional about this but honestly, i've watched my cousins grow up, and i'm witnessing them change from silly little kids into interesting awkward teens..  The way they view the world, society and everything that goes along with those two spectrum's has definitely changed... when maturity levels increase, understanding and wisdom do to... ignorance isn't always bliss, and especially not in teens today.. The world/society they are growing up in is even increasingly different from my own.. and its only a 4 year difference!

To be honest, I am both terrified and yet excitedly curious to see what will happen in the years to come... right now its "I want to look older" and "I want a boyfriend" but at 18, 20 its going to be " I want a degree!" or "I need a job".. and in the near to follow future it will be " I want to retire!"..

How swiftly time passes.. before you know it All we are is Dust In The Wind... Everything is Dust In The Wind.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

More "Music and Lyrics",,,

 Check this out.. such a great song.. i've probably already posted about it.. but just in case I haven't.. here you go.. It's also by Celtic Woman (my current musical romance)..Enjoy

" The Voice " 
I hear your voice on the wind

And I hear you call out my name

"Listen, my child," you say to me

"I am the voice of your history
Be not afraid, come follow me
Answer my call, and I'll set you free"

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain

I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice, I will remain

I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone

The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow
Ne'er do I sleep throughout all the cold winter long
I am the force that in springtime will grow

I am the voice of the past that will always be

Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields
I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace
Bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain

I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice

I am the voice of the past that will always be

I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice of the future
I am the voice, I am the voice
I am the voice, I am the voice

Please Comment or e-mail me ( your thoughts... Sorry if these posts have been boring.. i'll have some new stuff to post about soon enough... Thanks for reading.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

My Evenings Inspiration...

After spending the day in confusion and hard work, It is always nice to sit down comfortably and lose myself in the depths of beautiful, inspirational, fulfilling music...

I'm absolutely addicted to a musical group called Celtic Woman... The voices are so angelic and almost other-worldly beautiful, the minute the sound enters my ears I am captivated and all but taken over.

Check out what has me so enthralled...

"The Sky and The Dawn and The Sun"

High is the moon tonight
Hiding its guiding light

Heaven and earth do sleep
Still in the dark so deep
I will the darkness sweep

I will the moon to flight
I will the heavens bright
I will the earth delight

Open your eyes with me
See paradise with me
Awake and arise with me

I am the dawn, I'm the new day begun
I bring you the morning, I bring you the sun
I hold back the night and I open the skies
I give light to the world, I give sight to your eyes

From the first of all time, until time is undone
Forever and ever and ever and ever
And I am the dawn and the sky and the sun
I am one with the One, and I am the dawn

I am the sky and the dawn and the sun
I am the sky and the new day begun
I am the sky and the dawn and the sun

Enjoy, comment/ e-mail your thoughts