Monday, June 13, 2011

Smells Like Teen...Angst? Spirit? Crisis?...

Spent the better part of yesterday hanging out with my immediate/extended family for weekly Sunday "lunch" and  beyond eating over-cooked pasta (not by choice) the most interesting and fulfilling part of the whole day was catching up with one of my cousins..

I've forgotten what it's like to be a teenager, growing up in this current crazy advanced morally decrepit society.. Im only 21, what the heck!?!  Do things really change that much when you become an adult?

I suppose the mind does all it can to let go of the terrible, awkward, embarrassing, panic confused-filled moments one experiences as a teenager..  My cousins newly 17 and experiencing her first major substantial crushes which are no longer just making her nervous and blushing, but are spawning new feelings of the want and desire for meaningful friendships and emotional and romantic relationships.. I guess I forgot what it was like to be bitten by the love bug for the first time..  Now that I've gone through it I can laugh and say "its easy, don't worry, you can ask for that number no problem...rejection? nah! don't even worry about it.. no biggie"  but in the back of my mind there is a memory of that difficult moment standing face to face at a locker and staring down at your shoes mumbling " can i have your number?" *sigh* c'est la vie..

I looked at my cousins slightly nervous slightly confused face and told her "you have to live through things or else you don't know what life is and you'll never learn how to live the life you want, the life worth living... If you don't go out and look you'll never find anything.. if you don't search for who you are you'll never find yourself.. and if you don't know who you are, how can you let other people know You?"  Amazingly she understood me... We mistake the silly immature misbehaviour of teen-agers for stupidity and un-intelligence but this is not so..  it's true what they say about the wisdom of the ages..  Each age we live brings us more wisdom.. so at the age of 17, there is a substantial amount of wisdom... Thankfully! or else how would any of us survive/have survived the final year(s) of high school?

Anyway, I'm glad I have the experiences that I have and that I can share them with the next generation.. it's great to know that there are teens still willing to listen to the advice and experience of others and who aren't afraid to ask for opinions and assistance.. It's wonderful and amazing that cousin can talk to me and wants/needs to.. I'm happy that my having gone through certain experiences can contribute to her learning what not to do and how to avoid getting into difficult or "sticky" situations... *sigh*  I can't wait to be a mom because then i'll have way more experience and more wisdom (coming with my age) to share with my kids to help them grow and learn and come into the world themselves...

I know I shouldn't be soo emotional about this but honestly, i've watched my cousins grow up, and i'm witnessing them change from silly little kids into interesting awkward teens..  The way they view the world, society and everything that goes along with those two spectrum's has definitely changed... when maturity levels increase, understanding and wisdom do to... ignorance isn't always bliss, and especially not in teens today.. The world/society they are growing up in is even increasingly different from my own.. and its only a 4 year difference!

To be honest, I am both terrified and yet excitedly curious to see what will happen in the years to come... right now its "I want to look older" and "I want a boyfriend" but at 18, 20 its going to be " I want a degree!" or "I need a job".. and in the near to follow future it will be " I want to retire!"..

How swiftly time passes.. before you know it All we are is Dust In The Wind... Everything is Dust In The Wind.


No comments: