Sunday, September 26, 2010

Vanity Insanity

 I woke up this morning and when I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth I couldn't look away!  It was ridiculous honestly.  I stood there gawking at myself, moving some pieces of hair that were "out of place" and turning my head from side to side to see myself from every angle.  I couldn't help but think " oh my gosh, I am so pretty right now".  And then I totally took pictures of myself with my cell phone camera.  I was so excited that my hair was having a good day and my skin look immaculate.. then I spent fifteen minutes getting dressed to go out later in the day because I wanted to be a "knock-out" or at least modestly "cute". I was so happy.

After snapping the third picture of myself, the constantly analyzing mini cultural studies professor that resides in my head started thinking " wow,  vain or what...lets see how many more self absorbed moments she spends taking pictures and staring at herself in her pjs?"

I spent another 10 minutes.

I am slightly ashamed.

But honestly this morning I felt so great because in my head and my vain slef obsessed opinion I looked phenomenal!!!   I had Jonathan Coulton's song " I feel Fantastic" running through my head and I think I sang it to myself as I dressed...again staring at myself in the mirror an exceedingly long amount of time

Now, riddle me this...

Ever wake up, look in the mirror and think to yourself; "wow ..I'm so hideous! I look soooo bad right now!" and proceed to brush your teeth staring down at the sink and leave the bathroom without a second look into that "repulsive" image staring back at you?  I totally went through this yesterday morning.  I had had a terrible night and could barely stand the sight of myself, toothbrush in mouth scraggly hair and bags under my eyes that glasses just didn't hide. Ew.  I hid from my bedroom mirror, covered as much skin as possible and put my hair up into an unflattering ponytail to go out.

Interesting how from one day to the next we can go from feeling excited and fantastic to feeling depressed and down trodden? And all because of our first impression of our own image.  

Everyone has insecurities just as everyone has moments of certainty about themselves... Body image is a real issue in today's culture (as it has been forever) and it really doesn't help that the media is forcing extreme ideas and norms on everyone about what is deemed "beautiful" and what is "ugly" in society.

I think individually, waking up in the morning and thinking that either your looking great or looking terrible has to do with many factors which we can't really control such as how much sleep we got or how we slept, and in what positions and under what conditions (like hot, cold, humid, dry etc).  People can remain in either the "pretty" or "unpretty" state of mind all day until something alters that such as clothing choices, people we see or meet, things we have to do etc. For example, knowing that I was going out in the evening yesterday I went from feeling "unpretty" to finding a few things to like about my image such as how my hair turned out after washing and how the weather was nice enough to be able to wear one of my favorite "feel good" shirts.

Ultimately, humanity is vain, even the most humble people don't like their hair one day or think a certain clothing item makes them look ________________(insert negative descriptive words here).  But we have to remember that there is always something even a tiny bit beautiful in us every minute of every day ( yes even when we're watching in horror how the jeans of yester-year no longer zip up, or we've just expelled some kind of bodily fluid or noise or odor that is "unappealing" to us and others)... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?  Attractiveness is only "skin deep", beauty is internal and causes from the inside out and that is what makes us "beautiful people". 

"You're so vain... you probably think this [post] is about you..don't you...don't you?"

That's my ramble for now... hope you think about when you wake up the morning after reading and your image self assessment comes back..


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