Monday, November 15, 2010

What does it mean to be 21?

Well,
In the states it means being able to legally drink at a bar.. Well I've been able to do that since 19 living here in Canada.. so no news there

And according to my Parents, "Apparently" at 21 I am "supposed" to be "responsible" and use the wisdom of my years to make good choices, stand firm on opinions I should have already formed on topics relating to religion, politics, society etc. as well as pass judgements not only on myself as a person but also on my life and my choices in it.

Funny how I've been doing that since my late teen years but no one ever really took notice of it until now..

21 means not being able to get out of or escape making mistakes, bad choices, or anything else damning or condemning..

It means I am supposed to kill the child within me and then live out my life as a tired, over-worked, depressed, cheated member of the adult world

21 means saying good bye to childhood/teen dreams and kissing the life you wanted for yourself good bye

it means going out and getting a job, getting your drivers licence ( if you haven't already done so) and working towards a career going no where so you can pay off debts that are now staring at you blankly with hands reaching..

Considering I am not much of a drinker, my initial ideas of how to be properly celebrating being 21 Do Not include grabbing a bunch of loud rowdy drinking buddies and going to Buffalo to drink in a bar in the States...

My idea of 21 doesn't involve me purchasing, leasing or in any way shape or form owning my first vehicle or apartment, or being the assistant manager of a clothing store or other commercial establishment either.

It doesn't bring up any desire to one day have made memories to look back on and keep the hope alive of being "forever 21" and enjoying the year of my life living recklessly, stupidly or immorally all "because I can"...

I'd have to say that at 21, I am now quite content to live in this world continuing to take one day at a time and enjoy each moment before it passes me by.. 

If my biggest goal is to walk with my head up and one foot going in front of the other than I think 21 will suit me just fine.

It seems to me that at 21 the biggest thing anyone can hope to achieve is the very tiring very demanding deeply humbling but completely gratifying accomplishment of working towards Finding Yourself.

So, all I intend to do from now on til the end of my days is spend every moment of every hour of every day of my life hunting for who I am and who I want to be... with all the bruises, scrapes, bumps, trips, slips and falls that come with it.

it is 10:21am and I am honoured that this post is the first thing I have written today, my twenty-first birthday.

Now I've got to  go write a large cumbersome essay for "spectacular bodies" which I will post in all its horrific-ness once it is finished.

XOXO
Cristina-age 21

2 comments:

Antonella said...

Well, we hope you had a very nice day! And I think we have noticed that you have been doing these things since your late teens - we're not blind or deaf, don't worry!!! LOL!

love you muchly
Antonella and Serafina

Kujo said...

I remember when I turned 21. There really wasn't any revelation until I was actually in the United States and realized that I am now legal in the United States. I think the milestone is different here than in the United States. The next milestone we get to look forward to is turning 25 and having our car insurance reduced. So, there's that, I guess.