Monday, March 26, 2012

Can I Set Fire to the Rain?

When the rain starts, often times it's impossible to stop it- in fact, we can't actually physically stop it.  We wish that we could and that we were able to have more control overall in our lives, from the weather to the speed in which time passes to the lunch menu special at our favorite eatery..but we can't and sometimes that creates moments in our day when we are so beyond frustrated that we no longer react normally and we no longer process thought normally.  

I live my life underneath a perpetual black cloud which continuously threatens to drench me without a moments notice.. My very best friend is being forced out of the country and I have now entered the last week and a half of my entire University career.. oh yeah, and this weekend is Palm Sunday and the following is Easter and if you know me, you know just how busy I am [without saying].  

As is stands I have to write 5 response papers, 2 large essays worth 2500-3000 words each and one final exam before I will officially be finished my undergraduate studies... and i'm trying not to freak out.. too late! 

If I could control time, I would freeze it in this moment for reasons which I am proud to say are entirely selfish. I could sit and have the time that I am now lacking to sit with my best friend and enjoy the passing time in ongoing perpetuity.  Also, I could write both essays and my 5 short response papers in peace and without the looming due dates approaching.  Easter would still be a distant blip through the frost covered windows and Christmas garlands. 

But then again... I'd still have to write 15 essays and responses along with reading through the entire semester's worth of theory and literature texts.. and we'd still be worrying about the impending doom of the government notice and I'd be more poor because of the insane gift giving that "has" to happen.  

I don't know how I'll ever get through these next 6 days but I really hope they pass as slowly as they can.. or else all that I hold dear will be gone and all I'll have to look forward to is the end of my April 17th exam and getting a "big girl job". Great. 

*sigh* If I could set fire to the rain and I could watch it burn then at least my eyes would have a spectacle to behold that I have created myself and I could stop or start it in my own time.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keep working hard, your friends and family have faith in you...don't give up...